A Friendship Made at My Alaskan Shabbat Table

Six Stories from my Sabbath Table 

Shared by Rabbi Dov Gartenberg 

2025 End of Year Campaign in Support of Shabbat with Friends NM 

A Sixth Story from My Sabbath Table Wednesday, December 31, 2025 

When I first arrived in Juneau, Alaska in 2011, I offered a Hebrew class at the small local synagogue, Sukkat Shalom. Twenty people signed up—almost all of them members of the shul, except for one. His name was Richard Dauenhauer, and from the very first session it was clear he had a remarkable gift for languages. I had a sense that he was a remarkable man. It turned out that I was right.  

A few months later, I invited the community to join me for a Shabbat afternoon Torah study. Only one person came: Richard. Over Shabbat lunch that day, I began to learn who he was. 

Richard was a poet, linguist, and translator. His wife, Nora Marks, shared his lifelong passion for the Tlingit language. Together they published histories of the Tlingit people and translations of their literature. Richard led the effort to standardize a written form of Tlingit and trained generations of teachers and translators. Because of his work, Tlingit is now studied across Alaska—not only by tribal members, but by students of all backgrounds drawn to the richness of Southeast Alaska’s Indigenous heritage. 

From that first Shabbat lunch, a deep friendship grew. For nearly three years, we met every Shabbat to read Hebrew and Tlingit poetry together. I cherished his insights into linguistics and the Tlingit language, and I loved hearing his own exquisite poetry. He, in turn, delighted in Hebrew—especially the poetry of Yehuda Amichai. 

One Amichai poem became a favorite of his, and we returned to it over several Shabbatot. The poem about the Tallit-the traditional prayer shawl, includes this striking line: 

“And why is the tallis striped and not checkered black and white like a chessboard? Because squares are finite and hopeless. Stripes come from infinity and to infinity they go, like airport runways where angels land and take off.” 

See full poem in Hebrew and English 

Richard adored that image—stripes stretching into infinity, a runway for angels. 

Not long after we finished studying this poem, Richard was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer during the summer of 2014. He died soon afterwards on August 19, 2014. At his funeral, held in his Russian Orthodox Tlingit community of Juneau, I witnessed how deeply he was loved by this community. More than a decade later, I still grieve his loss. Yet I remain profoundly grateful for our Shabbat havruta—a friendship devoted to beauty, insight, and wisdom. 

The Talmud teaches, Havruta o mituta—“Friendship or death.” It is a stark expression of how essential companionship is in rabbinic teaching. Many of my closest friendships have been formed around the Shabbat table. The restful, spacious nature of Shabbat has always given me the time and presence to cultivate deep friendships with people. Richard was my Shabbat Havruta. What a privilege.  

These friendships inspired the creation of Shabbat with Friends. Shabbat provides a runway for friendships to land and to take off.